Breathe
by lillybug991
Summary: Something happens to Olivia, and Elliot is determined to find out what it is! **WARNING** This could get kinda graphic, so I am just warning you! Please read and Review! I think that chapter 6 was a good place to end it, so I am done with this story.
1. Chapter 1

**_This is not a happy story, but I hope its good. I am not very great at writing happy stories, I am sorry. I just want to thank you for takeing the time to read my story. And thank you if you read any of my other stories! You guys are all great!_**

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><p><strong>Btw through out this chapter imagine the song Breath by Anna Nalick.<strong>

"Kathy woke up to the sound of someone beating on her door. 'What the hell?' She asked herself. She got up and walked down to the door, she opened it and gasped.

"Olivia," Kathy whispered, she didn't know what to do. Olivia looked like she had been hit by a bus. "Olivia are you okay?"

"Is uh," Olivia cleared her throat and then continued. "Is Elliot here?" She asked.

"No Liv, he moved out after we got divorced," Kathy said motioning for her to come in.

"I shouldn't, I don't want to scare your kids," Olivia said with a small laugh.

"They arent here, they are all older now, they all moved out," Kathy said. Kathy did not know what to do.

"Okay," Olivia whispered and then walked in. "Do you know where Elliot is?" Olivia asked, all she wanted to do right now was talk to Elliot.

"Yea, I will call him," Kathy said walking to the kitchen to call Elliot.

"Kathy do you have any idea what time it is?" Elliot said groaning into the phone.

"Olivia is here, I need you to come over right now!" Kathy said into the phone, she heard Elliot moving on the other end of the line.

"Why is Olivia there?" Elliot asked getting dressed.

"She looks awful, I think something happened to her. She doesn't want to talk to me tho, she wants to talk to you," Kathy said.

"What do you mean you think that something happened to her?" Elliot asked getting in his car and starting it.

"Well she is covered in blood and all of her clothes are ripped and she is just shaking like constantly, she is like vibrating," Kathy said looking into the livingroom to see Olivia sitting on the couch staring at the wall.

"How long has she been there?" Elliot asked, he was worried. He hadn't seen Olivia in two years.

"She just got here," Kathy said. "She is just staring at the wall. Elliot what do I do?" Kathy asked, she and Olivia hadn't talked in a while. But Kathy and her used to be friends.

"Nothing, and whatever you do, DO NOT touch her! I am like five minutes away," Elliot said.

"Okay," Kathy said hanging up the phone. Kathy heard something on the stairs, and looked to see that her husband Jason was walking down the stairs and straight to Olivia. But before Kathy could stop him he put his hand on Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia jumped up and turned and swung at him hitting him square in the jaw, but he was big so he didn't go down. She went to punch him again but Jason grabbed her wrists, he didn't know who she was or what she was doing in his house. And he did not want to hurt her he seen that she had already been through enough tonight.

"Hey, HEY!" Jason shouted, he just wanted to get her attention. She finished at his words and broke down crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she said backing up and trying to pull out of his grip. "Please please, just let me go. Please?" She said, she was full on sobbing.

"Jason let her go!" Kathy said to her husband, and immediately he let her go. Olivia looked over at Kathy.

"I am so sorry," Olivia said then started to walk to the door.

"Olivia wait!" Kathy shouted but Olivia had already left.

"What the hell was that?!" Jason asked.

"That was Olivia Benson, Elliots old work partner," Kathy said. She didn't go after Olivia because she knew that Elliot was close enough that he would catch her before she had the chance to leave.

Olivia walked outside and started to walk down the street, she didn't know where she was going but she had to go. She heard a car pull up behind her, but she didnt even bother to stop. She just didn't care anymore.

"Olivia?" She heard someone say, the voice caused her to stop dead in her tracks. "Olivia," he repeated again. She turned around and heard him gasp. "Oh god Liv!" He said running to her, she flinched when he touched her arm. "I'm sorry."

"El," she whispered.

"Yes, its me come on we need to get you to the hospital," he said taking her to his car. He knew she wouldn't want to go there but he needed her to, he needed to know what happened to her.

"But," she started but he cut her off.

"Liv, we need to get all the evidence that we can," Elliot said. She just nodded her head and stared out the window.

"El," she whispered half way through the drive.

"Yes Liv," he said.

"Pull over," she said.

"What? No Liv we-," she cut him off.

"Pull over!" She shouted, so he did. She opened the door, and got out the ran down in to the ditch. Elliot was out in seconds, he didn't want her to try and run away. But when he got to her she was throwing up, more like dry heaving. "Fuck!" She shouted.

"Liv, when was the last time that you ate?" He asked her.

"I don't know," she said honestly. She started to dry heave again.

"Come on lets get you to the ER," Elliot said, she nodded and got back into the car. He knew that she had been through a lot, anyone could see that. But the way that she was acting he realized the she hadn't realized it yet. Because if she did, she would not be letting him take her to the ER, he knew that she hated the hospital.

The drive was silent, as soon as they got there doctors swarmed. Elliot told them her name and that she was an NYPD Detective and that she may have been raped. He felt like throwing up when the words left his mouth, his Liv? Raped?

"Sir, we need you to fill this out," a nurse said giving him a clipboard. Elliot wanted to go with Olivia but knew that they wouldn't let him. So he just nodded and took the bored and started to fill it out. When he was done he have it back to the nurse and sat back down.

He took out his phone and call his ex captain.

"Cragen," Don said into the phone.

"Cap, its Elliot," Elliot said, he couldn't help the sob that came up.

"Elliot are you okay?" Crangen asked.

"I'm fine, its Olivia," Elliot said.

"Why? What happened? Is she okay?" Cragen asked, he was super worried.

"I don't know, she hasn't told me anything, please just come to the ER. They took her and they wont let me see her yet," just then he heard somone scream. "Cap I gotta go hurry up!" Elliot said hanging up the phone.

"Elliot!" He heard what sounded like Olivia.

"Olivia?" He called running down isles.

"Elliot, please!" He kept running till he found the room that she was in, she was fighting the doctors.

"Liv, I am right here! Calm down!" Elliot said taking her hand in his.

"Sir you can't be in here!" One of the doctors shouted causing Olivia to flinch.

"Elliot don't leave me! Please! Please don't leave me!" Olivia cried clutching on to him.

"If you give me a few minutes with her I can calm her down enough for you to do what you gotta do! Please just give me like five minutes!" Elliot pleaded with the doctor.

"Fine!" He shouted cause Olivia to jump again. "You have five minutes then you are out of here! I have to do the rape kit!" He said leaving the room.

"Elliot I am sorry, please let me leave! Please I can't! I can't do this!" Olivia cried.

"Liv, you need to breath calm down. It is not good for you heart you need to breath," Elliot said rubbing her hand. She nodded and started to take deep breaths.

"Elliot," she said once she calmed down enough. "I wasn't raped can we please just go. I got cleaned up and they fixed my wrist and sewed up the cut on my head and the gash on my arm! Please can we just leave Elliot please!" Olivia pleaded.

"Olivia you have to promise me that you weren't raped," Elliot said looking her in the eyes. Olivia didn't know what to do, so she lied.

"I wasn't raped!" She said laying right through her teeth, she didn't know if he would believe her or not, maybe if she just stood her ground.

"Okay, I will tell the doctor," Elliot said, he knew she was lying but he also knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere if he pushed her so he decided to go ahead and let her leave.

"Thank you," she said taking a deep breath as Elliot let go of her hand she started to panic. "Wait!"

"Yes Liv?" He said looking back at her.

"Can't you just like press the button, please?! I really don't want you to leave me," Olivia said, she was trying not to cry again.

"Okay Liv," he said pushing the button. "I won't leave you, stop worrying!" She nodded.

Just then a whole lot of nurses and a few doctors came in and started to explain everything to Olivia, Olivia just shook her head.

"No!" She shouted. "I am not doing this! And I don't have to! I want to go home, now!" Olivia said. Everyone looked from her to Elliot. "I said now! Now get out and go and get my discharge papers!"

The nurses nodded and left leaving Elliot and Olivia and the doctor alone.

"I thought that you said that she could handle this!" The doctor shouted at Elliot, causing Olivia to flinch again.

"You make me sick! Get out!" Elliot shouted at the man, he looked baffled but left anyway.

"I am so sorry that all of this is happening," Olivia said with a sigh.

"This is not your fault Olivia," Elliot said kissing her hand.

"At least you are the only person I told so I don't have to worry about other people knowing," she said with a relieved sigh, as she got up and started to get dressed in the same torn up clothes that she did have on.

"Olivia," Elliot said, he needed to tell her that he called Cragen.

"I mean, just think Elliot how awful everything would be if anyone knew! If they were to treat me different at work, I would probably quit," Olivia said walking into the bathroom.

"Olivia," Elliot said again when she came out. "I need to tell you something," he said.

"Hmm?" She hummed in response looking up at him.

"I called Cragen," Elliot said, and as soon as he said it there was a knock at the door. The doctor came in with another clipboard and handed it to Olivia who signed it, then he left the room.

"Why?" Olivia asked Elliot as she walked out of the room.

"Because you need to tell him what happened," Elliot said as they walked into the parking lot.

"Nothing happened tho," Olivia said getting into the passenger side of the car.

"Something happened," Elliot stated turning on the car.

"Can we uh," she couldn't go home, it was still completely torn up.

"What Liv?" Elliot asked since she didn't finish what she was saying.

"I really don't want to go back to my apartment, and if I go to the station then they will think that something happened," Olivia said with a sigh.

"Liv, you don't even have to ask. I kinda assumed that you would come with me anyway, but you do know that Cragen will be there soon right?" Elliot asked her.

"I uh, by the time that he gets there I will already be all cleaned up and he doesn't have to know anything," Olivia said with a sigh.

"Liv," Elliot said with a sigh, how was he going to keep her from getting cleaned up. Her body was covered in evidence that they could use to help get this guy.

"Its done," Olivia said. The rest of the ride was silent, when they got there Elliot got out of the car and walked to her side and helped her out. "I am fine, there is nothing wrong with me," she said pulling her hand out of his. Elliot just nodded and she followed him to his apartment.

"Here we are, I know its not clean but," Elliot said.

"Its fine El," she said giving him a reassuring smile. "I am going to go and take a shower," she said.

"Wait!" He said stopping her.

"What?" She asked.

"The uh, the water isn't on," he said.

"El your water works just fine!" She said, she knew what he was doing.

"Olivia please just go and get the rape kit done," Elliot pleaded with her.

"I wasn't raped I don't need a rape kit!" She said, getting angry. She could see that he wasn't letting up, so she hard to trick him. "Can you get me something to drink? My throat hurts," she said turning around and slowly walking to the couch.

"Yea of course," he said walking to the kitchen, as soon as he was out of sight she took off running to find his bathroom. When she found it she ran in and locked the door, she turned on the shower and stepped out of her cloths. She didn't even realize that she was crying till she felt something drip off of her cheeks.

"Liv," she heard Elliot say through the door. "Don't do this," Elliot pleaded with her. She ignored him and got in the shower, as soon as she stepped in she slid down to the floor. She could help the sob that escaped her lips. "Liv, open the door or I am breaking it down!" Elliot said, she didn't move. She just started to cry harder. "Liv I am coming in!" He called just before he knocked the door open.

He seen her cloths on the floor and knew that it was to late, he opened to curtin to see her sitting on the floor crying.

"Oh Liv," he said, stepping in the shower and holding her in his arms not caring about the water, or that she wasn't dressed. His best friend was in pain! And there was nothing he could do, he left, he left her. All on her own. He knew that he was the only man she really trusted, then he just left! How is she ever going to trust him again? What is wrong with him? He is now determined to help her, at whatever cost, he would do whatever it takes!

His thoughts were interrupted when Olivia started to cry harder. What happened to her? He couldn't help but think.

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><p><strong><em>Please review! What do you think happened to Olivia? Please let me know! <em>**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you all for the support! _**

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><p>"Liv we need to get out now," Elliot said to Olivia, they were still sitting on the floor of the shower.<p>

"But, I'm disguesting, and its nasty. And I can't breathe, I smell like, like him! I, he, no!" Olivia said standing up and starting to scrub her body, hard. Elliot gasped when he seen her, this man really did a number on her. She was badly beaten and had cuts and scraps and carpet burns?

"Who Liv?" Elliot asked, he just wish that she would tell him. He took the rag out of her hand, she was about to protest when he grabbed the shower gel and squeezed it on the rag. "Liv, please let me help you. You are rubbing to hard by the time you are done with this shower you wont have any skin left," Elliot said looking her in the eyes. He knew that he had to gain her trust again, and not only because he left her but because she was not in a very good state.

"Okay," she whispered, while nodding her head.

"So Liv, tell me what happened?" He asked her.

"I, he, well, its, nothing," she said with a sigh, she had no idea how she would tell him, or what she should tell him.

"Okay okay," Elliot said as he started to gently rub her body. "Tell me what happened here," he said gently rubbing the rag over the bruise on her shoulder.

"I, uh, he," Olivia started but then started to choke up.

"Liv, its okay, its just you and me, breathe," Elliot told her looking her in the eyes. She nodded and started to controll her breathing. "Okay, now tell me what heppened."

"I tried to get away," she whispered. "He grabbed my arm and I fought against him, he just kept pulling," she said. "He was strong, I, I, I couldnt get away! I'm so sorry," she said as she started to cry again.

"Liv, look at me," he said makeing her look up. "This is not your fault, okay?"

"But-," she started to protest.

"No Liv, no matter what happened, this is not your fault!" He said looking her dead in the eyes, she nodded. "Now tell me what happened here," Elliot said running the rag over her stomach.

"He held me down with his hand," she said.

"What happened here?" He asked running the rag on the bruises on her neck.

"He chocked me," she said, it took everything in Elliot not to throw up at realization of everything that this man did to her.

"Are you ready to get out? Liv you are cleaned I promise," Elliot said. She just nodded, he turned off the water and then stepped out leaving her standing there all by herself. He grabbed the towl off the back of his tolite and held it out for her, and she stepped out of the shower and he wrapped it around her.

"Thank you," she said.

"Liv you don't have to thank me," he said as he led her to his bedroom. Just then there was a knock on the door. "Its probably Cragen, I will be right back." He walked to living room and opened to door to see a red eyed Cragen. Was he crying? Elliot asked himself.

"Where is she?" Don asked.

"She, uh, she just took a shower," Elliot whispered.

"Did she get a rape kit done?" Don asked, even tho he knew the answer.

"No, she insisted that she wasent raped. But I was talking to her and I know for a fact that she was, she has brusise all over her. Including her legs and I just I don't know what to do, her cloths are still in the bathroom. She hasenst told me who the guy was yet, but I will find out!" Elliot stated.

"How bad is she? I mean like is she just saying that she is fine or is she just acting like nothing happened?" Don asked, he didnt know how he was suppose to react. Olivia was like a the daughter he never had, and now she was raped. After everything she has been through she gets raped.

"She is in the I'm fine mode I dont think she is at the nothing happened part yet," Elliot said with a sigh. "I still have her cloths, you can take them as evidence. I am still working on getting her to talk," Elliot said with a sigh.

"Well good luck, if anyone can get her to talk its you," Don said. Just then Olivia walked in wearing a pair of Elliots sweat pants and t-shirt, the pants were big but they coverd the bruises on her legs. "Liv," Don whispered when he seen her.

"Hey Cap," Olivia said.

"How are you?" He asked, even tho he knew what she was going to say.

"I am fine Don, there was no reason for Elliot to call you," Olivia said glareing at Elliot.

"Liv, you are not fine," Don said stepping closer to her, but when she flinched and stepped back he stopped. "I'm sorry," Don said realizing what he had just done.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, I am fine, I am going to get a drink. I will see you tomorrow, and please don't tell anyone about this," Olivia said walking out of the room.

"Elliot you tell her not to come to work tomorrow!" Don said knowing that he couldnt get close to her.

"I will don't worry, and you know her backing away was not your fault," Elliot said looking at his previous captain.

"I, uh yea. I am going to go, give me her clothes," Don said, he was going to do whatever it took to get the mother fucker.

"Yea, just a moment," Elliot said leaving Don there by himself. A few moments later he returned with a bag full of Olivias cloths, Don gasped when he seen that they were coverd in blood and ripped. "Yea, it looks bad," Elliot said.

"Elliot as soon as you find out what happened to her you come and tell me immediantly!" Don said.

"Of course," Elliot said nodding his head.

"Allright I will see you later," Don said walking out the door with the cloths.

Elliot walked to the kitchen to see Olivia sitting on the counter and staring at the floor, he had to be careful because he knew that the slightest things could scare her.

"Liv," he whispered, she looked up at him.

"Why did you call him?" Olivia asked.

"I told you, I didn't know what to do. You were attacked Olivia," Elliot said.

"I am fine! Now the only thing that he is going to see is me, broken!" Olivia said jumping off the counter.

"Liv," Elliot whispered.

"No! You don't get to speak! I am a detictive! One of New Yorks finest, just because you gave that up doesnt mean that I will! And the last thing I want is for everyone to look at me like I am broken! I honestly don't know why I went to you! Its not like you have even been here, I just knew that I didnt have anyone else!" Olivia shouted, she walked past him and went to the bathroom to grabb her cloths only to find that they were gone. "ELLIOT!" She shouted.

"Liv, I had to you didnt get the rape kit done this is the last bit of evidence that we have!" Elliot defended himself.

"If you want evidence go to my apartment! You know what I don't care, do what you want, go ahead and tell everyone!" Olivia said grabbing her shoes and putting them on.

"Olivia where are you going?" He asked her.

"I don't know, maybe Calafornia? I have always wanted to go there, and with all the money that I inhearted from my mother when she died I finally can," she said.

"Liv you are not going to calafornia," Elliot said.

"Oh yea? And are you going to stop me? Or are you going to call and tell Cragen on me?" She shot back.

"Liv, I am sorry. Please don't leave," Elliot pleaded with her.

"Huh I remember saying that, you know when you left," she said walking over to the door.

"Liv," Elliot tried again.

"I love you Elliot, and the last thing I want is for you or god forbid anyone else have to deal with me," Olivia said turning the knob and opening the door. "Bye El." And then she left.

What just happened? Elliot asked himself. "I love you too," he whispered. When he finally realized what happened he took off running after her, but she wasent there. Where the hell did she go? He asked himself.

eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

Olivia went out the back way, knowing that Elliot would come after her. What was she going to do? She knew that she wasent really going to go to Calafornia. Shit! She thought to herself when she realized all the stuff the she told Elliot. She needed to go and clean her apartment, and fuck she had to get her cloths from Don. She went to pull out her phone but realized that Eric stole it so that she couldnt call anyone for help.

Eric, he was going to come back. This wasent the first time, it was just the worst. She had to get her cloths back from Cragen. So she got a cab and went to the pricenct, when she got there she seen that Dons car was in the parking lot. She took off running to the door, that when she seen him. Thank god she was like right behind him. She snatched the cloths out of his hand before he even ralized what was happening.

"Liv!" Don shouted.

"No, just stop! Okay, neither you nor Elliot get to decide anything for me! Nothing happened, you don't need my cloths! Now Don, I am going home to clean, then I will see you tomorrow, at work! Because you have no proof that anything happened so you can't give me time off. Or tell me that I cant come to work! Have a good night!" She said walking away, she didnt realize that her whole entire squad was standing there.

"What the hell just happened?" Nick asked Cragen.

"I uh," Cragen didnt know what to say.

"Yea is Liv allright?" Amanda asked.

Fin looked at his cap and since he had been around longer they understood eachother.

"Baby-girl," he whispered seconds before he took off running after her.

"Cap?" Amanda said.

"Just, get to work. We have it under control," Cragen said walking to his office. Both Amanda and Nick walked back to their desks and worked while wondering what happened to Olivia.

"LIV!" Fin shouted.

"What?!" She snapped turning around, when she realizied it was only Fin, she calmed down. She didnt want him to know. "Oh, hey Fin. Can I help you?" She asked hiding the cloths behind her back.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"Yea I am fine, why?" She asked playing stupid.

"Baby-girl," he said with a sigh. "Can I take you home?" He asked her.

"I uh, no thats okay," Olivia said.

"Please," Fin pleaded.

"Fine, but I am at Elliots so lets go there," she said. "But give me a moment," she said walking to the alley way on the side of the building. She threw the bag of her cloths in the dumpster, Fin seen and texted Cragen where she put them and also told him to go to Olivias place and get everything that they could.

They both got in the car, Olivia told him where to go since no one knew where Elliot lived.

"So Liv, when did you and Elliot start talking?" Fin asked her.

"A couple nights ago, when I uh," she pused, she needs to make up a story. "I ran into at the coffe shop the other night, and I don't know we just started talking again."

"What night?" Fin asked, he knew what she was saying was a lie.

"Uh, the night before last," she said. She knew that he was on to her she had to start lieing better.

"Thats nice. Is this it?" He asked her when they pulled up in frount of Elliots building.

"Yes, thank you," she said opening the door. "See you tomorrow Fin," she said and with that she left. What was she going to do? Was she just going to go back up there to Elliots, would he even let her back in? What is wrong with her. She walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Find her!" She heard him shout on the other side of the door. "What?!" He snapped opening the door causeing her to jump. "Oh Liv, I'm sorry, I didnt know it was you."

"No no, its fine. I uh, Fin drove me here," Olivia explained.

"Come on come in, where did you go?" Elliot asked her.

"Well I went to Cragen and got my cloths back, then Fin offered me a ride home. But seeing as I don't want to go home, I told him to bring me here," she explained.

"I want you here Liv, stop worrying. You havent slept in a few days, why dont we get you to bed," he said. She just yawned and nodded.

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><p><strong><em>Please don't forget to review. Tell me what you think is going to happen next!<em>**


	3. Chapter 3

When Olivia woke up, she started to panic, she had no idea where she was. She shifted a little to feel a pair of arms tighten around her, that's when she started to freak out. What happened? Where was she? She pulled out of his arms, and stood up fast.

"Liv?" Elliot said, she let out a long sigh. She freaked out because of Elliot?

"Sorry," she said walking back over to the bed and laying down.

"It's okay to feel scared Liv," he said pulling her back into his arms.

"I'm not scared," she defended, but she had to admit, she was terrified a moment ago.

"Liv," Elliot said with a sigh, he didn't believe her one bit.

"Okay I was a little scared, but I am fine now that I know it was you. What time is it?" She asked.

"Almost nine am? Why?" He asked her, she jumped out of the bed.

"Shit!" She said running to the bathroom to fix her hair and adjust her cloths. "Fuck!" She said when she realized that they weren't her cloths. She was in Elliots cloths, a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Liv, what's wrong?" He asked her following her as she walked around his house looking for her things.

"I am going to be so late to work!" She said.

"Liv you are not working today, or for a little while. Not till you feel better," he said.

"I feel just fine, I have to go to my apartment and get cloths," she stopped moving as soon as she said it. She had to go back to her apartment, where she was attacked. What if Eric was there waiting for her?

"Liv?" He questioned her when she stopped moving.

"I have gotta go, I will call you later. Thank you for letting me stay I am sorry for bothering you," she said putting on her shoes.

"Liv you are not bothering me," he said.

"At least let me give you a ride," he said.

"No its fine, I will walk. I need to do this alone anyway," she said leaving.

Elliot just stood there, should he follow her? She is going to work, maybe he will meet her there. He went to his room to get dressed and ready, then he drove to the precinct.

Olivia walked to her apartment when she got the first thing she did was look for his car, it wasn't here. She walked up to floor, and gasped when she seen CSU in her apartment. She walked into the apartment, looking at all the people looking at her things. Someone grabbed her arm.

"Mam you can't be here, this is a crime scene," he said.

"I live here! Now get your fucking hands off of me!" She shouted yanking her arm out of his grip. He let go immediately and a sad look came over his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"I am fine, but this," she said gesturing to all the people in her apartment. "This is not fine, get out!" She yelled at him. "Everybody get out of my apartment!" She shouted, everyone immediately quit doing what they were doing.

"Uh I don't think that you get to make that call mam," some other officer said.

"I think that I live here and that I don't want you going through my things," she said, she pulled out her badge and showed them. "I am also an NYPD Detective, now, get the fuck out of my apartment!" She shouted again, this time they obeyed her and started to pack their things up. After everyone was gone she went to her room to see blood on her bed, she cringed but went to her closet she grabbed an outfit that she has worn many of times. But this time she put a sweater on over it so that no one could see the bruises and cuts on her arms.

She went to the bathroom and did her make up covering all the bruises on her face as well as she could. She applied little eyeliner and then mascara and then some chapstick, when she was walking out of the bathroom she seen her phone under her bed. She thought Eric had taken it, apparently not. She looked around her apartment once more before deciding that she would clean it when she returned later.

And with that she grabbed her keys and walked out the door.

When Olivia got to the precinct, everyone surrounded her.

"What are you doing here?" "Are you okay?" "What happened?" "Where did it happen?" "Who was it?" When did it happen?"

"Shut up!" She yelled, everyone got very quiet. "I am here because I work here, I am fine. Nothing happened? I don't know what any of you are talking about!" Olivia said looking all of them in the eyes.

"Olivia," Cragen said in a warning tone.

"Nothing happened! Stop thinking that it did and do not, ever again send CSU to my apartment," she said said walking to her desk. Right before she sat down she seen photos of her apartment and their ideas board, she looked at all of them and glared then walked over to the board and pulled all of the pictures down and ripped them up, and just to make sure that they wouldnt put them back together she put them in her desk. Everyone stared at her.

"What? I had friends come over and things got weird, thats all now all of you mind your own business! Go, work! Do something except for stare at me!" She said dismissing them by waving her hands.

"Olivia!" Fin shouted, Olivia looked over at him.

"What?" She asked.

"Elliot is in the cribs waiting for you," he said, Olivia sighed but got up and walked to the cribs. Elliot was asleep on the bed that she normally sleeps in, she sighed and sat beside him, careful not to wake him. She just watched him, she hasn't seen him in two years. He looked aged but not old, she could tell that he still worked out.

"Oh EL, where have you been? What have you been doing?" She whispered, she gently touched his cheek he stiffened but then slowly woke up but kept his eyes closed. She didn't know that he was awake. "God I have missed you," she continued on she didn't even realize that she was crying. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to leave, I'm sorry you shot that girl, but it was a good shooting. I am sorry that I showed up at your ex-wife's house, god El, I'm just so sorry," she said, silently crying, she kept her hand on his cheek, and looked down.

She felt him grab her hand and pull it to his lips and give it a gentle kiss, she looked back at him.

"Liv none of this is your fault," he said sitting up and pulling her into his lap. "Liv, look at me," he said tilting her chin so that she was looking up at him. "Liv, I love you. I am sorry that I left you, I went through a really rough patch. And the last thing that I wanted was to be a burden to you," she cut him off.

"El you would never," but he stopped her.

"I didn't want you to see me, I was, I was always drunk. Thats why Kathy divorced me, then she met Jason and turns out they were perfect for eachother," Elliot said with a sigh. "He was our divorce lawyer, and they just clicked, kinda like you and I do," he said holding up their intertwined hands. "Liv, I want you to tell me what happened," he said.

"Elliot I don't, you don't want to know. I don't even want to know," she said with a sigh, she just snuggled into his chest even more.

"Olivia I want to know, because I want to help you. I want to help you recover," he said kissing the top of her head.

"Are you sure?" She asked looking up at him.

"More sure than anything Olivia," he said looking down at her.

"Well then I can not sit in your lap," she said pulling herself up and sitting at the end of the bed so that she was facing him.

"Why not?" He asked, sitting up, confused.

"Because if I do you are going to touch me and it is going to cause me to break down," she said. She took a deep breath and let it all out then looked up at him to see that he was waiting for her.

"Whenever you're ready Olivia," he said, she looked at him and nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

"I uh, well one night he was rough, I mean it wasn't that bad but it wasn't that great either," she said. "I um told him to stop but he just," she paused to take a deep breath again. "He got rougher, and this went on for a while. I don't know why I put up with it, maybe it was because he was just so nice to me and everything afterwards. Well I don't know why but the other night I decided to tell him no, and I fought him back. But then he uh, pulled out this knife like he knew I was going to fight him back," she had tears rolling down her face, she wiped them away and continued. "He cut me, i tried running but he tripped me, then he drug me to the bedroom. Thats how I got the rug burns and the hand prints on my ankles." She stopped so she could take a breather, she was about to continue when she actually started to think about everything.

"Liv," Elliot whispered when he seen her eyes start to glaze over. "Liv," he whispered.

"No, I uh," she started to hyperventilate, she looked up and looked him in the eyes, it killed him to see all the pain that was in her eyes. "Elliot," she yelled right before she passed out falling on him.

"Oh shit, Olivia," he said laying her on her back, he got up and walked over to the door. "Help, help I need help in here!" He yelled down to the squadroom. He ran back over to Olivia, he picked her up in his arms and carried her out.

"What happened?" Fin asked.

"She was telling me about what happened and the story was just getting to the worst part and she passed out! What do I do?" Elliot asked, he was completely freaking out.

"Elliot bring her in here and lay her down on my couch," Cragen said opening the door for him, Elliot did as he was asked, he was completely freaking out. "Amanda! Get some wet rags," Cragen said calmly.

"How can you be so calm?" Elliot yelled.

"Elliot," Cragen said with a sigh. "Its just a panic attack, she has them all the time. She normally calls me right before she passes out," Cragen said. "I am trying to make her get help but you know how suborn she is. I normally put a wet rag on her forehead and give her something to eat when she wakes up." Cragen walked over to his desk and pulled out a cereal bar.

"How long have they been happening?" Elliot asked fearing the answer, Cragen looked up at him with a sympathetic look. "Don! How long have they been happening?" He yelled.

"Since you left," Cragen said. Just then Amanda walked in with a wet rag and a bottle of water, then she left Elliot, Cragen, and Fin alone.

"Oh god this is all my fault!" Elliot said sitting in the floor beside her, he put the rag on her head and started playing with her hair.

"Elliot don't sa-," Cragen started but Fin cut him off.

"This is all your fault! What the hell were you thinking! She was strong! She was brave, then you left her! You were her rock you ass and now here she is passed out on the couch! Because again, you were pushing her to her limits! What the fuck is your problem!?" Fin yelled at him, he knew he shouldn't be so mean, but he felt as all of Olivia's problems were Elliots fault. She was just fine, she was happy, she would laugh or smile when she was around Elliot. She was like a little sister to him, and she was passed out right in front of him, because she had a panic attack?

"Fin! Calm down or get out! She should be waking up soon, you need to be quiet she is going to have a headache!" Cragen yelled at his detective.

Just then Olivia started to stir, she opened her eyes to see Elliot, Fin, and Cragen watching her.

"What?" She asked sitting up and then grabbing her head, she always had the worst headaches after her panic attacks, and moving quickly did not help them.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked knowing the answer.

"I'm fine, I'm just hu-," but before she could continue, Cragen handed her a cereal bar. She smiled her appreciation at him, and the Fin handed her the bottle of water. "I'm sorry this keeps happening, I am working on it," she said standing up, and swaying for a moment, Elliot put his hands up to catch her but she put her hand up to stop him. "I am fine," she said.

"Olivia," Elliot said, he didnt even know what to say.

"Stop," she said putting her hand up again. "What time is it?" She asked.

"Its time for you to go home," Cragen said.

"But Cap I-," she started but he cut her off.

"No you know the rules, every time you faint you have to go home," Cragen said looking her in the eyes, she sighed but nodded.

"And about CSU, you need to let them go through your apartment," Fin said, he hated that they had to do this, especially for Olivia.

"No I, nothing happened!" She yelled, getting ready to march out but Fin stepped in front of her.

"Olivia Renee Benson!" He snapped.

"What! How do you even know my middle name?" She asked.

"That is not the point! You know something happened we know something happened, you need to let us do our job!" He said. Did they really all know? She asked herself, she looked at Elliot and Cragen they had blank stares on their face. They did know, she concluded, so why not let them just go through her apartment?

"Fine," she said with a sigh. "But don't bother me, I am not going to the doctor, I am not telling you anything! You want to know so bad!? Find out for yourself! And if any of you treat me different I swear I will leave!" She yelled pushing Fin out of the way and leaving. She walked over to her desk and grabbed her stuff, then she left without saying a single word to anyone.

"Did she tell you who it was?" Fin asked Elliot.

"No she just said that she started seeing him after I left. She also said this has been happening for a while, and that she finally just sick of it! So, if we are blaming somebody its your fault!" Elliot said shoving Fins chest a little bit. "You couldn't protect her!" Elliot yelled.

"Yea at least I didn't leave her! She was all alone!" Fin said, shoving Elliot back.

"Both of you shut up!" Cragen said, both men looked at him. "Elliot she has no where to go! You need to go after her, take her to your place," Cragen said, and with that Elliot ran out of the office. "And you! I know you love her we all do! She is our family! But we can not keep blaming each other! It is not helping anyone," Cragen said, Fin nodded. "Call CSU and get them back to her place, I want to know what happened. Then go to Melinda and see if she has anything on Olivias cloths." And with that Fin left.

Cragen sat down at his desk, and actually started to cry.

**_CRAGENS THOUGHTS:_**

_This has been happening for a while? How did I not notice? How did any of us not notice? Olivia is like my daughter and I failed her! I failed her! If this is anyones fault its mine. Sure I told them not to blame anyone, but here I am blaming myself. What is wrong with the world? Olivia is the last person that this should ever happen to! She is so sweet, innocent. She came from a broken home, and hasn't had a great life. And now we get to add rape and abuse to her story? _

When Elliot got outside he seen that she was just sitting in her car, he walked over and tapped on the window, she jumped out 20 feet out of her seat.

"Sorry, I didnt mean to scare you," he said when he opened the passenger door and got in.

"No its fine, I just thought that you were Eri-," she stopped realizing that she was just about to say his name.

"Who?" He asked hoping to pry it out out of her. "Were you going to say Eric?" He asked.

"No," she said quickly, she needed something to cover it up.

"Then what were you going to say?" He asked her knowing that now that they know what the guys name is they could narrow it down even more.

"I was going to say," she paused, she couldn't think of anything. Fine so they knew his name. "Yea I thought that you were Eric," she said with a sigh.

"Why would you think that I was Eric is he suppose to meet you?" Elliot asked.

"No its just, well yea. He normally meets me at the end of the day and we go out to lunch," she said with a sigh as she turned on the car, just then her phone went off. She looked down at it to see that is was from Eric.

_Hey babe sorry I couldnt make it, I had a lot of things to do today. But what do you say about us getting dinner? How about are Toni's? I know how much you love it there, I love you _-Eric

She didn't know what to do, he was always so sweet afterwards why would this be any different?

"Who was that?" Elliot asked her, she looked at him with a _duh_ face. "What does he want? Olivia I am not letting you go anywhere with him!" Elliot stated.

"But I have to, I need to talk to him," Olivia said.

"Olivia I said no!" Elliot said.

"What if you come with me I can just say that you are my protective detail," Olivia suggested.

"Yea from him! What would I be if I let you go and see him!" Elliot said.

"You can either go with me, or I am going by myself! You choose!" She said.

"Fine! But I am sitting right beside you! And if he even so much as touches you I will break his hands!" Elliot said.

"Elliot he is going to touch me!" She said.

"Not if I am there," Elliot said.

"Whatever," she scoffed.

_Hey honey, that sounds nice. But I have a protective detail following me around, there is some serial rapist out there and he is after me. So is it allright if he comes with us? If he doesn't then I can't go. I am sorry for being such a hassle, I love you too _-Olivia

_That is fine, and you are not a hassle. Talk to you tonight, do you want me to pick you up? _-Eric

_No thats fine _-Olivia

"There its all set up," Olivia said pulling out of the parking lot. "I need to go to my apartment and get something to wear," she said.

"Olivia they have CSU down there," Elliot said.

"Well then we will just have to beat them because I need my black dress," she said going a little bit faster.

**_OLIVIAS THOUGHTS:_**

_I love him don't I? I mean he is such a sweetheart, he just isn't that great when it come to sleeping together. Maybe I can get him to stop? Do they have programs for this? I just need to talk to him so that I know what is going on with us. I mean it is a little ridiculous that he thinks that we are just fine, since he could have killed me the other night! Why did I go to Elliot? Elliot, thats who I love this is just a substitute. Maybe I should just break up with him. But what if he does something to me? Wait, he can't I have Elliot! Thats what I will do I will break up with him!_


	5. Chapter 5

"Olivia hurry up!" Elliot said standing by her door. If CSU knew that she was messing with the evidence then they would tell Cragen and that is the last thing that he wanted.

"Oh my god sorry, we have plenty of time tho! They shouldn't be here for another hour," she said walking out of her room with a dress and a few bags in her hands, and wincing a bit still in pain.

"Why didn't you just put the dress in the bag so that you didn't have that much to carry?" He asked her.

"Are you crazy? That would put wrinkles in it, and then I would have to iron it and I don't have time for that," she said grabbing her phone off the kitchen island. Then she walked over to her to the cabinet above her microwave and pulled out a few journals.

"What are those?" Elliot asked her.

"Just old diaries that I used to write in, I have a few from when I was younger and then I have a few from when I started SVU then I have some for now," she said as she put them in one of her many bags.

"How many do you have?" He asked her seeing her pull out three more.

"A few," she said rolling her eyes. "Why?" She asked when she put the last one in the bag and then looked at him.

"Oh nothing, are you ready to go yet?" He asked her.

"Yea let's go," she said.

"Wait," he said stopping her.

"What?" She asked.

"I know your back still hurts from the," he paused not knowing what to say.

"Just say incident," she said with a sigh.

"From the incident," he continued. "Let me carry your bags," he said takeing them all out of her hands.

"It's fine Elliot you don't have to," she said trying to take them back, but he wouldn't let her.

"No I want to," he said as they walked out the door. Olivia drove them back to his place so that she could get ready, about an hour later they arrived at the diner.

"Where is he? What does he look like? What time did he say that he would meet you? And I swear if he even looks at you to long, I will take him out!" Elliot just started talking and asking.

"El, calm down. I am only here because I am breaking up with him," Olivia said putting her hand on Elliot's leg hoping to calm him down, which did.

"Thank god," Elliot said putting his hand on top of hers. "You know that after you break up with him I am calling cap and the guys to come and get him," Elliot said, this caused Olivia to jerk her hand away.

"No you are not! He is still a good man and has a life, and going to jail is not part of it!" She said to him.

"Olivia are you even hearing yourself you put away men like this all the time! What's to say that after you break up with him he doesn't go and have angry sex with some other woman who doesn't know what she is in for? You could have saved her from this happening!" Elliot said, he knew he was laying it on pretty thick but he wanted her to see that this man was no different from any of the other sick men that she put away any other day.

"Elliot you just don't get it," she said with a sigh.

"Well then make me understand, I know that you love him or that you say that you do. I get that you two are close but, he is not a good man! He may seem like one but he isnt!" Elliot said, he turned to face her and took her hand in his, and looked her dead in the eye. "Olivia tell me what it is about him that has you so under his spell?"

"He," she started but then a tear rolled down her face, she quickly wiped it away. "We will talk about this later, I have something that I need to do tonight and I will tell you later. You are not calling Cragen and you are not telling them anything!" She said pulling his phone out of his pocket and laying it beside hers on the booth seat that they were sitting in.

"Olivia, give it to me," he said reaching around her.

"No," she said shoving him off of her. "I will give it to you after I tell you why," she said, just then Eric walked in.

"Hey babe," Eric said leaning over to the table to kiss Olivia went Elliot started to cough really loudly causing him to not kiss her. He gave her a confused face as he sat down, she just shrugged her shoulders. "How was work today?" He asked her, she had no idea what to tell him.

"Oh it was the same as always," she said with a half-smile.

"I'm sorry," he said sipping his water.

"Yea its okay, listen I need to tell you something," she said taking a deep breath.

"Okay?" He asked confused.

"I think that we need to uh, break up," she said looking him in the eyes.

"Is this about the other night, Livvy I am so sorry about that I don't know what got into me! I would never do that and you know that please don't do this to me!" He said pulling her hand in his over the top of the table.

"Eric, I," she stopped, she didn't think that she could do it. Elliot seen her hesitation and put his hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze, giving her a bit of confidence. "Eric I'm sorry, but it's for the best, she said. She thanked god that Elliot was there because if he wasn't she wouldn't be able to follow through with this decision.

"Alright Olivia, I respect your decision. But you know that if you ever feel like," he paused and looked at Elliot, and realized that Olivia probably didn't want her protective detail to know about her personal life. "If you ever feel upset then you know you can still call me right? I will still be here for you no matter what," he said kissing the top of her hand, she nodded and a tear rolled down her cheek, he went to wiped it away when Elliot knead the top of the table, causing both Olivia and Eric to jump.

"I will," she said.

"Alright, well good-bye Olivia," he said getting up he nodded at Elliot and then left.

"What did he mean when he said if you were ever feeling sad?" Elliot asked when he seen Eric walk out the door.

"Can we just go, I don't ever want to come in here again," she said grabbing their phones and getting up.

"Are you okay?" He asked her as they walked to the car.

"No, no I'm not," she said getting in the driver's seat.

"Olivia," Elliot started but she just started the car and turned up the radio, the entire ride she just cried, but didn't make a single sound.

When they got there she turned off the car and laid her head down on the steering wheel, Elliot got out and walked to her side of the car. He opened the door, unfastened her seat belt and then picked her up. As soon as she was in his arms she cried into his chest, as he carried her up to his apartment.

When they got up there Elliot took her to his room, and laid her down on his bed. He left the room and came back with Advil and a glass of water. He sat down beside her and told her to take the pills, she did then laid back down.

"Elliot," she whispered.

"Shhh its okay, I will get you some cloths. Just sit here and relax," Elliot said walking to the bathroom where she left her bags. He returned a few moments later with a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "Do you want me to help you?" He asked her.

"I uh, no, I have it covered," she said getting up and wincing in a bit of pain because her back was still hurting, he looked at her with concern and she seen that. "I'm fine, it's not that bad," she said grabbing her clothes from him.

"The medicine will kick in in a few moments," Elliot said sitting on the end of the bed.

She nodded and walked to the bathroom to changed, she would have really liked Elliot to help. She just wasnt sure he would be ready to see all the scars and marks on her body, she put on her cloths and then took off her makeup. She looked at herself in the mirror to see that with out make up you could tell that she had a nice purple bruise on her cheek. She jumped when she heard a knock on the door.

"Yea?" She said knowing it was Elliot.

"Are you okay? You have been in there for a bit," Elliot said.

"Yea I coming out now," she said opening the door. She sat down at the end of his bed and looked up at him. "We need to talk," she said with a sigh.

"Yea, you need to give me my phone too," he said with a small chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Not yet," Olivia said smiling at him, then her face went serious. "You know how I told you that I met Eric at a bar, well I didn't," she said with a sigh, she laid back so that her feet were hanging off the bed but she was laying on her back looking up at the ceiling.

"Yes," Elliot said leaning down on his side and propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at her.

"Well that's not how we met, he was my therapist," she said closing her eyes.

"Why were you seeing a therapist?" He asked her.

"I was having a hard time coping," she said opening her eyes back up, and then looking up at him. "You left me, I was all alone. You were all I had El, I couldn't stand to be alone. I started getting all these," she paused not knowing how to explain it to him.

"Its okay, Olivia you can tell me," he said, stroking her hair.

"I started thinking about ending it," she said with a sigh, he looked at her confused. "I couldn't take the pain anymore, I was going to uh," should she explain it to him in cop terms? "I was going to eat my gun," she said, breaking eye contact and looking back up at the ceiling.

"Oh Liv," he said wrapping his arms around her. He couldn't believe what she had just told him.

**_ELLIOTS THOUGHTS:_**

_Oh god Liv, why? What is wrong with me? Why was I ever stupid enough to leave you? God I love you! I'm so sorry, please I am so sorry. I can't believe me leaving pushed you this far. But I promise you that with everything in my heart, I will never leave you again._

"Elliot," she said from underneath him, he still had his arms around her.

"Oh, yea, sorry," he said pulling back and laying back down on his side. When he looked down at her she seen that he had tears in his eyes.

"Please don't cry, if you cry I will to and then I will never finish the story," she said wiping his eyes.

"Okay, okay, continue," he said taking a deep breath.

"Well I told him and he started talking to me, it was different. He wasn't like a regular therapist, he told me about his self hoping to get me to calm down, which did. Very much so, I soon found an attraction to him. We started going out and whatever," she said.

"When did all of this happen?" Elliot asked her.

"Like a week or two after you left," she whispered.

"Oh Liv," he said again.

"I'm sorry, but you have to know that I am better now! Thats the reason that I can't stand to put him away, he helped me! It wasnt really rape anyway, I mean I never told him no. Because if I did I know for a fact that he would stop!" She said firmly. "It's just that I was afraid that if I told him no or stop, then he would leave me," she said with a sigh.

"Liv, I want you to know that I am never going to leave you again," Elliot said wrapping his arms around her again.

"El that's what you said the first time," she said in the crook of his neck.

"Well I am going to do everything that I can to prove to you that I will never leave you ever again," Elliot said, she nodded and then they broke apart. "Liv if it's not too much for you I want you to sleep in here again," Elliot said, Olivia nodded. She really didn't want to sleep alone anyway, she always slept better when she was with him anyway.

He wrapped his arms around her and wait till she fell asleep to get up. Once he felt her breathing even out he got up and walked to her side of the bed and grabbed both of their phones, then he walked to the kitchen to call Eric.

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><p><em>AN: I decided that I would stay on this site! If you want you can follow me on Instagram its lillybug991, and if you want you can add me on snapchat krissytina1998. And I feel like taking requests so if you have any let me know! _

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><p><strong><em>So tell me how you think Elliot is going to say to Eric!? Do you think that Elliot is going to tell the squad? What do you think is going to happen next?<em>**


	6. Chapter 6

_"Hey Olivia, I knew that you would call. What's up with your protective detail tho?" Eric said into the phone as soon as he answered it._

"This is Elliot Stabler," Elliot said into the phone, it caught him off guard for a moment when Eric said that he knew Olivia would call.

_"Elliot? As in her ex partner Elliot? What the hell are you doing with her phone? Oh god is she okay? Please tell me that she is okay," Eric said going from pissed off to worried in about .5 seconds. Elliot knew that this man seemed to be good, if Olivia trusted him, and he seem like he actually cared._

"She is fine, and yes this is Elliot her ex partner. I am her protective detail," Elliot said.

_"What the hell? When did you two start talking? How did she take it? What is she doing right now? Because you can't leave her alone," Eric said. "I am coming over, are you at her place?" Eric asked, Elliot could hear movements._

"No we are not at her place, her place is a crime scene!" Elliot said raising his voice louder than he meant to. "Because you raped and beat her!" Elliot said. "And what do you mean that she can't be alone?" Elliot asked confused.

_"I can't tell you because of Doctor patient privilege, and what do you mean I raped her? What the hell is going on?" Eric asked._

"I think that we need to talk," Elliot said with a sigh into the phone.

_"I guess we do, when do you want to meet?" Eric asked, he had no idea what was going on, but he wanted to help Olivia. And he would also do what it takes to do so._

"Well not tonight, because I don't want her to wake up and I not be here. How about tomorrow at about 8:00 am?" Eliot suggested, he had no idea what he was going to say, but this seemed important.

_"That sounds great, meet you are the dinner where we were earlier," Eric said, he also had no idea what he was going to say also but, he wanted to help Olivia._

"That sounds great," Elliot said.

_"See you then," Eric said and then he hung up the phone._

Elliot took a deep breath and started thinking, should he call the squad? Should he tell them? Maybe he should wait? He shook his head, and walked back to the room and put both of their phones in the same spot and climbed into the bed. He wrapped his arms around Olivia and pulled her to him, he couldn't help but wonder why Eric was freaking out if she were alone? Sure she had those thoughts, but now that he was here was she still thinking them? The best thing he could do for now was to sleep, he kissed the top of Olivia's head and drifted off.

When Elliot woke up he looked at the clock it was seven the perfect time to wake up, he looked down at Olivia to see that she was still sleeping like a rock. He got up and walked over to his closet and got dressed, when he was done he grabbed his phone and checked to see if he had any missed calls or messages, he had one message. It was from Kathy, asking if Olivia was okay. He didn't know what he should say to her, so he just stuck with yea, she is okay.

He knew he was lying but he didn't have time to explain it to Kathy, he put his phone in his pocket and shook Olivia.

"Liv," he whispered, she groaned and mumbled the word no. "Hey Liv, wake up," he said.

"Please don't leave me," she cried.

"Liv I am not going anywhere," he said, he shook her a bit more. As soon as he stopped she shot up yelling the word no, and gasping for air. "Olivia," Elliot said.

"Please don't, just don't leave me," she cried, she covered her face with her hands.

"Oh Liv, I'm not going anywhere," Elliot said pulling her into his arms. "Breathe Liv just breathe," he said, maybe he could just call Fin and have him bring Eric in. Yea that's what he was going to do, he can get all the answers that he needs later.

"Elliot, I, I'm sorry," she said pulling out of his arms and wiping the tears off her face. "I didn't mean to, uh yell," she said apologizing.

"Olivia you can cry you know that right? And it is okay that you had a nightmare, people who went through what you did have nightmares," he said.

"It wasn't about Eric," she said with a sigh. "And I have nightmares all the time, I am just sorry that you had to see this one," she said looking down and playing with the blanket, as if she were embarrassed.

"Liv what was it about?" Elliot asked, even though he had a good idea that it was him.

"I uh, I have to pee," she said before he could say anything she jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom. As soon as she got in there she locked the door and walked over to the toilet, and puked.

"Liv, open the door," Elliot said knocking on the door.

"Go away," she said, then threw up some more. "Just go away," she whispered, the threw up again, soon she was just dry heaving, she had barely eaten at the dinner.

"Olivia I am knocking down the door," Elliot said.

"Don't please," she said her voice weak, she did not want him to see her like this. "Just a minute I will be out," she said, he heard the toilet flush then running water. That's when he took his chance to text Fin and tell him where to go and get Eric. After a few minutes when she still didn't open the door, he walked over to the door and knocked.

"Liv, are you okay," Elliot asked knocking.

"I'm uh, I'm dizzy," she said slightly swaying and trying to walk over to the door. "The door, I can't, to far," she said just as she collapsed, good thing he had carpeted floor.

"Oh god Liv," he yelled as he bust the door open. "You're gonna be okay," he said picking her up and carrying her to his bed. He tried to remember what Cragen said, she is always hungry when she wakes up, he ran to the kitchen and grabbed crackers and peanut butter, and all the protein and cereal bars that he had and ran back to his room. He set them on the bed and then ran to the bathroom and grabbed a rag and wetted it with cool water, then he ran back into the room and folded it and laid it on her forehead. Then he grabbed a book and started to fan her, he had no idea if she passed out from stress? Panic? Or lack of food, and water? He was going to find out.

Olivia started to stir around.

"Liv, Liv, are you okay? I'm here don't worry," Elliot said fanning her.

"El, stop you don't have to do this," she said putting her hand up to stop him, and sitting up and then grabbing her head because the sudden movement caused her to get dizzy again. "Ugh," she groaned.

"Are you okay?" He asked pushing all the food in to her lap.

"I don't, I, what's, wrong with me?" She asked. "I'm oh, god," she took off running to the bathroom and stumbling along the way.

"Liv, I am taking you to the hospital," Elliot said walking back into his room and grabbing a few things that Olivia might need, then he walked back into the bathroom to see that she was just sitting in the floor by the toilet. "Come on," he said picking her up, he carried her to the room and grabbed the bag that he had just packed. He wrapped it around his arm and carried her out of the apartment, he had to admit, she had lost a lot of weight. She was so light, and small.

He put her in the front seat and buckled her in threw the bag in the back and got in. He started the car, and as he drove out he put his hand on her head to see if she had a fever. And she was burning up, bad.

When he got to the ER he grabbed Olivia and picked her up and carried her to the door.

"Help! My girlfriend she is burning up and puking and she keeps passing out!" Elliot yelled. A few doctors and nurses started to swarm, they took Olivia out of Elliot's arms. After she was placed on the hospital bed they started checking her, Elliot watched as Olivia lost consciousness again. He was scared to death, he had no idea what was going on.

"Sir, we need you to fill these out," a nurse said handing a clipboard to Elliot, he quickly filled it out and took it back to the nurse before taking a seat. Elliot pulled his phone out and called Cragen.

_"Captain Cragen," Cragen said answering the phone._

"Cap, its Elliot I am in the ER, Olivia passed out again. But she was puking and she is burning up! I have no idea whats wrong, I need to talk to Eric, do you have him?" Elliot asked.

_"Yea, I have him. Why do you need to talk to him?" Cragen asked confused as the why Elliot felt the need to talk to Olivia's rapist._

"Its not what you think, Olivia she trusts him! I mean completely! I'm not caught up on all the details yet, but he knows because he was her therapist. I need to talk to him, please put him on the phone," Elliot pleaded.

_"Yea, alright just a moment," Cragen said, a few minutes Eric picked up the phone. "You had me arrested?" Eric snapped into the phone._

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to take the chance of you skipping town!" Elliot said.

_"I was going to turn myself in any way! Right after we talked, but you had to go and have me arrested? Really? Whatever what do you want?" Eric asked._

"I am in the ER with Olivia, she keeps passing out and she fever! And it was bad! And she keeps puking, I don't know what's wrong!" Elliot said.

_"Uh, let me think," Eric said trying to conclude as to what was wrong with Olivia. "I have no idea!" Eric said, and he honestly hadn't. "Maybe she is just stressed, I mean you are back! That had to be huge for her!" Eric said equally as panicked as Elliot._

"That can't be it, if it were she wouldnt have spiked a fever as high as it was!" Elliot yelled into the phone pissed that Eric wasn't helping at all.

"Mr. Stabler?" A doctor said walking into the waiting room. Elliot hung up on Eric not caring about anything other than Olivia.

"How is she? What happened? Is she okay? Can I see her?" Elliot asked, he didn't mean to attack the doctor with questions.

"I think she is going to be just fine, the problem was that she had an infected cut on her thigh. It cause the fever, which caused the dizziness which cause the vomiting, which cause the blackout. We cleaned out the cut and stitched her up, then we gave antibiotics. She is still on morphine because we just did the stitches, she fought us pretty good but we didn't sedate her we just pumped her full of numbing drugs, and she started to calm down. And I would like to keep her overnight to see if the infection worsens," the doctor said.

"That's is fine doctor, uh?" Elliot said realizing that he didn't know his name.

"Oh doctor James," he said, with a small smile. "And there is another thing that I would like to talk to you about, does Ms. Benson a self harmer?" Dr James asked Elliot.

"Excuse me? No Olivia would never do that," Elliot said.

"Alright then I suggest that you talk to her, because this cut seemed self-inflicted, I could be wrong tho," Dr James said sternly. "Would you like to see her?" Dr James asked Elliot.

"Yes can I please?" Elliot said quickly.

"Of course follow me," Dr James said leading the way.

When they got to the room Elliot immediately ran to Olivia's side, she started to smile.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Are you alright?" He asked her.

"Pfft me? Yea I am great," she said smiling. Elliot looked at the doctor confused but then remember that they drugged her.

"Hey Liv, they said that you had an infected cut on your leg," Elliot said.

"That's what I was told to," she said laughing.

"Liv, did you cut yourself?" He asked her, he knew this was wrong, getting answers out of her while she was drugged.

"Yea I did," she said. "Hey can I see your phone?" She asked Elliot.

"In a moment, Olivia why did you cut yourself?" He asked her.

"Oh uh, why did I cut myself?" She thought out loud.

"Liv?" Elliot said.

"Oh yea! I was sitting in my kitchen floor drinking something, uh," she paused trying to think. "I broke the bottle and seen the pieces sitting everywhere. Then I started thinking about how I don't matter, you know since the only people I love always leave me," she said laughing. "Then Eric called and I was talking to Eric on the phone, he told me that I, mmm?" She stopped again, then she smiled. "Oh yea! He said that I was important! And that I mattered to him," She said. "So I put a band-aid on and then sat on my sofa and wait for him to come over and make me feel better!" She said with a big smile.

"Liv," he said with a sigh, this was another thing that he had pushed her to.

"Yesss," she said, looking at him to see that he was sad. "Elliot don't be sad, I love you okay?" She said looking at him.

"I love you to Liv, get some rest you aren't going to feel good later," Elliot said.

"Why not? Can't I just constantly be pumped full of this stuff? I mean for the first time in forever I feel, fine! Like I can do anything, I have cares in the world!" She said throwing her arms up. She looked over to see that Elliot still looked upset. "Hey El, can you come and lay with me? That would make me go to sleep faster," she said.

"Liv I don't want to hurt you," he said, he was afraid that if he got in the bed with her then the could pull on her stitches.

"Please," she said making a pouting face.

"Well how can I say no to you?" He said taking off his shoes. "But you will tell me if your leg hurts right? I don't want to hurt you," he said getting in the bed.

"Of course I will," she said. When they finally got comfortable, with Elliot's arms wrapped around Olivia, him on his side and her on her back with her leg propped up Olivia let out a long sigh.

"Whats wrong?" he asked her.

"I just want you to know, that I cut my self more than a week ago. And it was a one time thing, and I am not going to do it again," she said looking down at him. "El the last thing that I want is for you to be disappointed in me," she said with a yawn.

"Liv I am not disappointed in you, I am glad you told someone," he said kissing her collarbone.

"El, don't do that," she said a little out of breath at the intimate gesture.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-," he was getting worried that he did something wrong, but she stopped him.

"No its just I am injured and you doing that sends chills throughout my whole entire body," she said with a small laugh, causing him to smile. Why did he ever leave her in the first place? "But you know since I am in this bed and injured and what not, you could kiss me and make me feel better," she suggested, with a wide smile. Elliot sat up.

"Liv are you sure, remember you are heavily drugged I don't want anything to happen that you are not comfortable with," he said looking her in the eyes.

"Well if you don't want to kiss me that's fine," she said playing coy and looking away from him.

"Oh I want to kiss you," he said with a big smile.

"Well then do it!" She said smiling and looking back at him.

"Liv, are you-," but she cut him off.

"Just kiss me," she said in a breathless whisper. He smirked and leaned down and kissed her, it was slow, sweet, and so full of love. Before she could deepen it there was a knock on the door. They broke the kiss and look up to see a doctor, Olivia groaned. "Come back later," she said, causing both Elliot and Dr James to laugh.

"Olivia I just wanted to let you know that we are taking you of the drugs," he said walking over to the side of her bed and messing with things.

"Really? Why? I hurt tho," she said fake complaining.

"Liv, its good. Once you start feeling better we can go home," he said kissing her forehead.

"Home," she whispered. "I like the sound of that," she said looking up at him.

"Good, cause I am not letting you out of my sight," he said giving her a small kiss.

"I can't wait," she said smiling, she looked over at the dr. "How long exactly do I have to wait?" She asked him.

"Well we want to keep you overnight, and see how you are doing tomorrow," Dr James said. "Alright, well this is my last stop before I go home so I will see you guy in the morning," he said nodding at them and walking out.

Elliot looked at Olivia to see that she was starting to get tired, he smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Good night Liv," he whispered wrapping his arms around her waist and laying his head on her shoulder.

"Night, El," she said dozing off.

"I love you," he said.

"I," she paused yawn. "Love you too," she finished, running her fingers through his hair, the both fell asleep in each others arms having no idea that Cragen was standing right outside the door with the biggest smile on his face.

"It's about time," Cragen whispered, leaving.

* * *

><p><strong><em>The next chapter is going to be happy, light and fluffy! Please review and tell me what you thought! And I was also wondering, if you have read any of my other stories, which one of them is your favorite? <em>**


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